urgh. i was feeling uneasy now because, i am so sleepy and i really wanted to take a rest but since my kuya came, i just decided to take my dinner together with them so my sleepiness was reduced. since my drowsiness was reduced, i decided to surf the net for a few minutes. there's this video/episode i watched and i must say that i really enjoyed watching it. --i was actually watching "Gandang Gabi Vice" last episode, which was last Oct.09, 2011. i watched it because i was so entertained and laughing myself out loud with the guests, like really loud that i'm telling my mom about it. i was happy because at least my tiresomeness, the stress, were gone for a moment. i have been through a rough time these past few days and i was looking for a place that i will be comfortable of. we had our home, there's nothing else feels like our HOME. it's the only place that i will be comfortable of.
so, with this guy that i am talking about is actually my mom's boyfriend. yeah, my mom's BOYFRIEND. i lost my dad already almost 12 years ago so my mom has the freedom to have her own happiness. anyways, she is still young. i actually don't have any problems with that, i don't mind her. so i have given her her freedom to love again. she already gone through a lot of relationships and most of them didn't work out. i don't wanna see my mom crying over for a guy again because i knew their story with my dad. as long as she is happy, i'm okay with that. what's important is, her happiness and not mine. i already admitted to myself that time will come and soon i'll have my own family so she will be left alone. i won't be there for her and she will need someone that will take care of her.
anyways, about the incident today, as i was saying, i was enjoying watching an episode on the web and as i was sharing it to my mom, her boyfriend was actually watching television. our television is not far from our computer, so we can hear the television clearly even though you're using the headset. and since i was sharing the video to my mom, i used the speakers instead of the headset to let my mom hear the sound. as i was turning up the volume of the computer, her boyfriend was also turning up the volume of the TV that the sound from the computer and the TV was colliding/interrupting with each other. i was annoyed because he even heard me talking to my mom about the video and it was very DISRESPECTFUL that we were talking and he was interrupting us by the volume of the television. i was really, really annoyed of what he did.
i don't care whatever he likes to do whenever he's here in the house. all i want is to have respect shown because this is not his house, even though he's older than me. we both need respect. i really respected him and i looked up to him as an uncle. but what he did today provides me with a reason not to trust him or lets just say, he was acting already like the owner and he was acting SHOWY. honestly, i don't like this guy for my mom but because of the love i have for my mom, i am willing to accept whoever she wanted to love. for this guy, he's not worthy. we are not close so he doesn't have to have an effort to greet me. i'm really disappointed by now.
i was hoping i could get a good rest earlier today but since my bedroom was our living room --because i wanted to have cooler area to sleep than our bedroom, he was there watching TV so i need to wait first for him to finish watching before i can go to sleep. i'm feeling like there's a lot of burden inside me. for God's sake, hope that he will think that this house is not his. urgh. i'm begging for rest now. oh God!